True Intimacy

Two trees growing close together, but not in each other's shadow Nature is a great teacher. A walk in a forest can teach us about life and help us to experience something far greater than ourselves. Suppose you came upon a colony of mushrooms decorating the forest floor, what would you see? At first, we may believe the hundreds of mushrooms are individual plants, but actually they are all parts of the same organism. You see, they are all sprouting from the same underground fungal network called a mycelium. We are like mushrooms. We appear separate and distinct. Yet, we all spring from the same invisible network, which in our case is called humanity. Each of us is just a small part of the whole. Once we understand that, it becomes much easier to develop close relationships. If we wish to learn about ourselves, what we are and what we can become, we have to learn about others.

As we continue our walk in the forest, we may stop to watch raindrops roll down the surface of a leaf. In their gleeful slide down the leaf, the drops of water collide and separate, traveling along different paths. Each time one drop collides with another, part of each drop merges with the other, so when they separate, each carries a part of the other. We are like raindrops. As we run into one another and interact, we exchange part of ourselves with each other. As we learn how to grow in intimacy, we exchange more and more of ourselves when we meet, each benefiting from the process, each being enriched by the other.

A young husband said to his wife, "I will work very hard for you and someday we will be rich." And his wife replied, "But honey, we are already rich, and someday we may have lots of money too." Yes, intimacy enriches us; it makes us rich. What is intimacy? It is what we see in the forest: two trees growing side by side, but not in the shadow of the other. Intimacy is about mutual support, encouragement, and growth. On the other hand, estrangement stunts growth and devalues life.

A tree that is struck by lightning falls silently, unless there is a person or animal to hear it. Similarly, a person's life ends with little meaning, unless there was someone to share it. Can you see how important intimacy is? It may not be essential for physical survival, but it does seem necessary for emotional survival. Just as a drab landscape is magically transformed by a snowfall or crimson sunset, so does a simple friendship grow into a source of joy when it is stoked by intimacy.  If you want to read more about true intimacy read The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved.