Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Victim-Hood

Victim-hood is exactly that- a hood, a sham. It is a role that we cast ourselves in. And it’s one that, in our inherent desire to create, we continue to recreate within our lives in a variety of ways. We seek out new ways to be that, to validate it, to confirm it. Because that’s what we know ourselves to be.  It’s familiar. It’s the role we’ve mastered.
Your academy-award winning performance is commended. But perhaps it’s time you challenge yourself to a new role, a new potential arising to take on a character of integrity and strength.
Anger and resentment are directed outward or inward in response to the wound of sacrificing yourself. Rather, funnel it into the flame of desire to change. What role do you want to play. Who do you truly want to be?
Somewhere along the path, the pain, the warning light, becomes too strong to ignore and suddenly you realize you can’t do this anymore. You can’t go on playing along, playing dead, playing small. Then, suddenly it’s unbearable on an entirely new level, and you seemingly can’t, can no longer be, the victim, the martyr, the powerless, the weak. And you may notice that this suddenly has something (or everything) to do with the recent and longs-standing accumulative consciousness with which you’ve been watering your inner world. You KNOW better now. You Know in more ways than you don’t, and it becomes no longer acceptable, you become no longer unaccountable. And it becomes all too clear that this role you’re playing is in total conflict with your vision of what you desire and in effect with who you truly Are. You are not THAT. You are not a victim, even though you’ve mastered playing one. You are not powerless; even though you know, deeply, what that experience of weakness is to be.
You have tried on these costumes, these facades. You have encompassed the full gamut of the experience of these potentials. But now you have grown tired of living in the vacuum of predictability within the realm of reaction, of ensuing resentment, the role of continual retribution. Whose cause are you serving in paying dues to this ensemble of characters you inhabit that incessantly do you wrong? What do you long for as a new and refreshed and exciting identity? What have you prohibited yourself form for far too long now?
Notice how you promote and support your starring role. Notice how you honor and defend it. Then you have to ask yourself as you succumb to defensiveness and pain…Really? Is this really who I want my Self to be? Is this role worth supporting at the cost of my integrity, at the cost of my identity…is this really who I am?
Perhaps it is who you’ve been for a long, long time. Perhaps it’s how you’ve known yourself to be. But does it need continue? Is it necessary to Be, or have you perhaps learned the inherent lesson of that drama? Have you not perhaps gathered already the gem of insight necessary to move further along on your path? And are you ready to retract the pointing finger of blame that you direct at all of those you’ve perceived to have mistreated and defeated you and take back your power by assuming responsibility of yourself?
Are you ready to own your altered awareness, your unaccountability, your comfort level in continuing to assume the familiar roles? Are you ready to detach from the instability of needing to control the people in your life and the situations around you in order to feel safe, and realize that safety is Not the goal to begin with? What your seeking is joy. What you’re seeking is love. What you’re seeking is rhythm and harmony. Question the level of impact your current roles have had on acquiring those attributes, on supporting your overall sense of well-being. And then bring it back to center. Time to get it in check.
Sit with the pain that is rumbling within your belly when you feel you’ve been wronged, when you feel you’re not strong. And then ask yourself what part of this is mine. What part of this can I DO something about? What do I need to surrender, and what do I need to engage? Pay attention to your scripts. Are you not just repeating out the same old lines for the sake of it? The new innovative and exciting roles that you can recast yourself in at these times are scripted within your heart, not your mind which has well-rehearsed the earlier version of your apprenticeship in this lifetime. Your heart knows it differently. Your heart knows that though you have played these roles you are not them. Your heart knows that though you have experienced pain, it is not you- it is an aspect of your experience. Pain is something to gage, to experience, not to get stuck in. Breathe into it. Be with it, then release it. Listen to what it’s telling you-the pain, not the stories in your head that go with it. Can you discern? Do you know how to tell the difference?
Expand your greater version/vision of you. Expand it to include All possibilities, All outcomes, everything and anything you desire. Go beyond the box, noticing where and how you’re limited. Get out your giant eraser and edit the scripts that aren’t serving you. Be real with yourself, be objective. Question your reality and what you’ve bought/believed into. Be willing to throw out your life’s work of sculpting yourself in the image of one who sacrifices, struggles or suffers and remold that playable clay of you into something beautiful and inspirational.
You Are that. You are more that you know. You are everything you desire, already. You simply haven’t connected fully with that aspect of yourself, haven’t supported its flowering. So what you long for isn’t so much what you wish to become, but rather what’s hidden. Come out of hiding. Dare yourself to have the courage and strength to come into a new role now that’s far more aligned with your integrity. Align with your truth and your peace will prevail. Use your stories to show you all the wrong turns rather than allowing them to use you to validate their truth. You have nothing to prove. That’s ego talking, telling you that you must fight to reclaim your inherent worth and step into your vision. You need only embrace the fire within that’s being masked as pain and resentment and funnel it into your driving force in breaking through the veil of indiscretion. Use the discomfort that’s fueled from not being true to you as a power-force to do it different, to break free of the grasp of the familiar, of the façade, and sing it different. Sing a new song that redefines you in the image of your heart-based version of you.
You’re worthy. You’re capable. You’re the Creator. Be disciplined in what you choose to create. Invoke your inner drill-sergeant and redirect the flow so that you, the highest you, are the victor in this campaign of how your life experience will be. Don’t just lay down and take it. Stand up and shake it. Shake free of the constriction and the conviction. Life is not about restriction (old story). Life is about peace (new you). Rewrite the script.
Be the truth.
Set your Self free.