Of Course the Universe is Conscious

A smart person once told me while I was looking up at some stars, to “please be aware that you are seeing.”
I’ve heard that and said it a few times since, and the initial reaction to that remark is typically something like, “Well, no shit.” It was mine, for a moment.
But it is really something profound, if you stick with that thought longer than a moment.
We are aware, to some degree, almost all the time. Awareness isn’t just a big part of life, it comprises life as we know it. So it rarely occurs to us that it needn’t necessarily be this way.
Yet we are aware. If we know nothing else, we know that is true. I mean, if there’s anything we take for granted, it’s this astonishing fact that we are aware of stuff. And it’s the coolest, most empowering fact of all.
If you can look down and see your legs, then I guess you could say you’re aware of yourself. Again, duh. But which part of you is aware of your legs? You’d probably say your brain, and while I’m not convinced that’s entirely correct, let’s say it is. Already we have something interesting happening. One part of something is aware of its other aspects. Or at least some of its other aspects. I doubt anybody would be aware they had a liver if nobody told them, or if they did not deduce it somehow by becoming aware of other livers in other people. So your self-awareness is not complete, meaning you’re not aware of every single thing going on in your body. But we don’t need to have every possible bit of information about ourselves in order to be aware of ourselves or to know ourselves.
You are a part of the universe, I’m going to presume. So when you’re out late on a long weekend, leaning back on the hood of a ’76 Vista Cruiser looking up at the stars from some campsite here on earth, one part of the universe is suddenly acutely aware of another part of it.
It’s fair to say then, that at least in that moment, the universe is conscious of itself.
Well wait a minute… not quite, right? Something in the universe is aware of something else in it.
But is that really different from the way in which you’re aware of yourself? A chunk of matter in your head is aware of (among other things) some other lengths of matter sprouting from your torso. Is this not a body being aware of itself?
So if a part of something is aware (to some degree, anyway) of the rest of that thing, then you can say that thing is self-aware. Is that not true for the universe?
And these “parts”… how do you really define something as truly distinct from something else? The boundary between my body and the environment surrounding it is not so definite, if you look closely. I exchange matter with the “outside world” as a matter of course, in my breathing, eating, sweating and bathroom activities. Bits of my skin dry up and float away, maybe landing in your drink. Then are they me or you? Seriously.
A less silly example. We think of the sun as being “over there” and we see it from here. But when you’re seeing the sun, what’s really happening? Photons, little bits of the sun, are shooting 93 million miles through space into the backs of your eyeballs, setting off an electrical reaction with which your brain creates a genuinely brilliant experience.
It’s not a You over here and a Sun over there, with one of those separate things aware of the other separate thing. It’s a seamless interaction between the universe and itself. But it cannot be denied that an experience is occurring — that awareness is present. You can argue all day about “whose” experience it is.
Those distinctions that we so casually make — between the soil and the grass, or the breeze and the palm trees — are really only conceptual boundaries we impose on our experience to aid communication and understanding. Where does one end and the other begin? They are only definite as a matter of thinking — which is a function of consciousness. So these boundaries couldn’t exist without awareness. “We are all one” is not just a flaky hippie notion.
Help me out here. Am I missing something? Because no matter how I dice it, it seems to me that if I’m self-aware, then the universe clearly is too.
Now, I don’t know quite when this began. I don’t remember the moment when my awareness “switched on”. But since I do remember being bitten by a duck at Wisconsin Dells when I was three years old, I suppose I can be confident it was somewhere between age three and age negative nine months.
But the point is it did turn on somewhere during the proceedings.
It’s worth pointing out that there really is no question about that. I can deny all sorts of things. I can deny that the sky is blue, I can deny that the world is round, I can deny that Elvis is dead, I just can’t deny that I am aware. I think, therefore I am, someone once said. (Elvis?)
It’s even tougher to reckon exactly when the universe’s self-awareness turned on during its proceedings, but clearly it did, if you’re looking at this screen.
To the best of our understanding, thirteen-some billion years ago, something (nothing?) exploded, flinging unfathomable amounts of matter and energy outward.
By way of gravitation, nuclear forces and other apparent rules of the game all that stuff began to combine and interact, and settle out to form chemicals, dust, asteroids, planets and galaxies.
But all that combining and interacting didn’t stop at boring lumps of rock and fire. If you were to zoom in on one of those lumps, you’d see even more interesting things forming. Earthquakes, volcanoes, atmospheres, storms, clouds, lightning. Rivers. Tides. Sand.
Somewhere along the way, in certain corners of the universe, a phenomenon arose that we regard as very special. Certain arrangements of matter developed the ability reproduce themselves, maintain themselves and eventually propel themselves around. They grew more complex, developing the ability to sense the surrounding environment and respond to it.
I won’t speculate on why, but these forms eventually gained the ability to experience. Again, this is undeniable, unless you want to try to deny that you’re reading this, but I bet you are.
And what do these interesting little corners of the universe experience? The universe. The dirt, the grass, the stars. Maybe a slurpee.
The universe, through its own nature, has become aware of itself. It is experiencing itself. And its awareness is expanding. I think the chances are pretty remote that the universe is only aware of itself through what’s happening here on earth.
It’s too bad that the notion of a conscious universe is typically rejected as New Agey feel-good drivel. That’s a pretty limiting way of thinking. It’s a shame, because at the moment, we have at our disposal evolution’s coolest trick so far: matter getting its own sense of just what the hell it is.
Of course the universe is conscious. What else could be?

Passion as a Career Path

So where do I stand on the passion vs. practicality debate?

As we’ve seen, it’s practicality that turns effort to dollars, not love. Love may have uses in business, but only in so far as it is practical. Loving your customers is perfectly practical to business goals.

I think most people find themselves in careers that do nothing for them aside from paying the bills. In that case, passion is only useful after-hours, and that’s a disturbing thought. The typical arrangement is to sell half your waking hours, at a flat rate, five out of the seven days in a week — to somebody else who is making a lot more money with your effort than you are. With the modest amount you receive — and the remaining half of your time — you are to build a life.

Most of us live this reality, and I now see it as a bloody curse. Of course we can do better. We settle, because it seems impractical to walk away from a steady income. Business owners who get rich from our modestly-paid efforts want to make sure we don’t get too entrepreneurial ourselves, so they get us dependent on health benefits that are so difficult to walk away from. Beware. This is the reason public healthcare is so violently opposed in the conservative contingent of the US, but that’s another post altogether.

In his book Wherever You Go, There You Are, Jon Kabat-Zinn encourages the reader to ask “What is my job in this planet, with a capital J?”

Good question. Is it selling insurance? Programming data entry systems? Processing credit card records? Stocking grocery shelves? Helping the suburbs of Winnipeg get bigger?

With one precious lifetime to spend, and all the advantages of a developed world and a free market, maybe it’s nothing short of idiotic to resign yourself to a post in life that has nothing to do with who you are or what you love.

Like so many others, I have the dream of becoming rather well-off doing work I love. Unless I die in my thirties, I will do it. You can bet the farm on it.

I’m certain of it not because Tim Ferriss or Steve Pavlina or Tony Robbins says I can, but because I’ve decided I will. It’s not a gamble, it’s not a leap of faith. It’s how I plan to spend the rest of my life. It will take considerable amounts of practical effort — planning and testing — but it is certainly a lost cause without passion.

Passion is definitely not a requirement for a steady income though, not by any stretch. In fact, it’s probably easier to find a steady income if you forget about your passion completely. Don’t let it bug you, don’t allow yourself time for it, and you’ll have your rent paid with ease. Maybe you can let it poke its head out on weekends. Just make sure it’s out of sight by Monday.

To be blunt, working for the weekend is a shit existence, and even though it seems to be the default strategy in my culture, I will not settle for it. In a bearable but uninspiring job, the days slip by so freely that suddenly you wake up to find a decade has gotten behind you and you’re nowhere closer to anything you love. With the exception of what simple pleasures you can cram in on weekends and evenings, it isn’t life, it’s a slow death. There is too much up for grabs for the intelligent (and passionate) individual to let himself pass the years that way.

Certainly a middle ground holds the most promise. I tried the career game without passion for a while, it led me somewhere unbearably mediocre. I’m starting over, with passion as my compass and practical thinking as my throttle.

Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater and think that passion should take a back seat to practicality. One without much of the other is a recipe for disaster, yet I think practicality without passion is much more dangerous, because it can steal your life from you without your realizing it. Maybe it already has.
Passion isn’t worth any money. It’s priceless.

ENTHUSIASM

Heroes, champions, and achievers are enthusiastic. They are passionate and excited by life and what they believe in. Set yourself on fire and get excited by what you do because enthusiasm is what makes ordinary people extraordinary. Enthusiasm makes it possible to do the most difficult of tasks because it provides the energy to act by lightening your burdens as well as the burdens of everyone you meet.

Enthusiasm is like a magnet that draws others to you. It is the secret of charisma. People want to be around those who are excited about life. Don't you think that people who never get carried away should be? But don't wait to become excited. There's nothing exciting about waiting; it is in the doing that we become excited. Ernest Newman (1868~1959) explains:

"The great composer does not set to work because he is inspired, but becomes inspired because he is working. Beethoven, Wagner, Bach and Mozart settled down day after day to the job in hand with as much regularity as an accountant settles down each day to his figures. They didn't waste time waiting for inspiration. "

Summing up, doesn't it make sense to do more of what works and less of what doesn't? Someone once wrote:

"Why were the saints, saints? Because they were cheerful when it was difficult to be cheerful, patient when it was difficult to be patient; and because they pushed on when they wanted to stand still, and kept silent when they wanted to talk, and were agreeable when they wanted to be disagreeable. That was all. It was quite simple and always will be."

PERSISTENCE

Persistence and determination guarantee success because they represent the will to continue until the goal is reached. Persistence, which moves us forward, mustn't be confused with stubbornness or rigidness, which holds us back. For persistence is about what we WILL do and stubbornness about what we WON'T do.

The difference between success and failure has less to do with know-how than it does with know-when-to-quit, which is never. For as Confucius taught, "It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop." Although those who fail attribute the success of others to 'good luck,' they don't realize that 'good fortune' is nothing more than determination to overcome misfortune.

Part of life deals with overcoming obstacles, and we do so with the tools of persistence and determination. Imagine what the world would have lost had Abraham Lincoln, Helen Keller, and Thomas Edison given up when faced with their 'insurmountable' problems. Imagine what you will lose if you choose to give up when faced with life's challenges.

Here's what American billionaire and co-founder of Amway, Richard M. DeVos, has to say about the value of persistence, "If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic that I regard as being most highly correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence. Determination. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times and get up off the floor saying, 'Here comes number seventy-one!'"

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

To take responsibility is to take power over your life; it is to act as your own advocate, and it's to take the helm of your destiny. When we shirk our responsibility by blaming events or others, we inadvertently give up our power to change.

We are not responsible for our emotions, which flare up spontaneously, but we are responsible for what we do about them. For example, if we find ourselves frequently getting angry, rather than giving in to it, we can choose to study anger management, thereby vastly improving our life.

Similarly, we are not responsible for the negative programming we picked up as a child, but once we reach adulthood, we are responsible for repairing the damage. Also, being responsible means being big enough to admit one's mistakes; simply put, if you mess up, 'fess up.

GETTING ALONG WITH OTHERS

What can be more important than getting along with others? For the quality of our life depends on the quality of our relationships. The keys to successful relationships include respect, admiration, support, laughter, gentleness, kindness, understanding, and forgiveness. One of the most valuable gifts we can give to others is acceptance. For when we accept them, we give them the freedom to be themselves.

In any relationship friction is bound to arise. Friction is not to be abhorred, but welcomed, for how else can we develop our humanity by practicing tolerance, patience, and understanding? Rather than criticizing, we can be forgiving; rather than giving a piece of our mind, we can give leeway, and rather than being disparaging, we can be encouraging.

BALANCE

We all play many roles: parent, sibling, child, friend, spouse, employee or employer, citizen. To spend too much time in one role means we neglect another, so we need to always be mindful of balance. As we play our various roles, we simultaneously pursue a variety of goals: family, relationships, career, finances, spirituality, health, recreation, personal development. Here too balance and prioritization are called for to avoid neglecting important areas of our life.

Our lives are filled with the need for balance, and the first step in achieving it is to become aware of this fact. Here are examples of other areas in which we can fine tune our lives with greater balance:

a) getting what we want versus getting what we need,

b) work versus play,

c) open-mindedness versus gullibility (don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out),

d) time spent with others and time spent alone (time alone with your thoughts is needed to review what's working and what's not),

e) give and take in relationships (be sure to balance what people need from you with what you need for yourself),

f) the fun of spending time with people you have lots in common with versus the learning opportunities that come from spending time with those who are completely unlike you,

g) being humorous versus being serious, and

h) acting logically and rationally versus being spontaneous and willing to follow your intuition.

So you see, there are many areas of our life that need balance, and Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.

FLEXIBILITY

Life is synonymous with change. Although we make plans and set target dates, things change. The unexpected happens. To survive in a changing world we need to be flexible and learn how to adapt. No matter how hard we try, we cannot stand in the same spot in a stream, for a different stream rushes by each moment. So it is with life, for the streams of time and changes are rushing by. Those who are rigid and stubborn will be swept away by the tide of change, but those who are flexible and willing to adapt will be carried to success. Everett Dirksen (1896-1969) cleverly said, "I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times."

DO YOUR BEST

Your strongest ally on the path to success is a good attitude. To make sure you have one, make Debbi Field's motto your own. Her motto is "Good enough never is." Refuse to accept 'good enough' when excellence is possible. Make your creed or purpose in life to always do your best.

Do you want to win recognition, admiration, and respect? The shortest path to winning respect is to respect yourself. That's exactly what you will do if you always try your best and make excellence your goal. Excellence means asking more of yourself than others ask of you. Here is what Og Mandino (1923-1996) has to say on the subject:

"One of the great undiscovered joys of life comes from doing everything one attempt to the best of one's ability. There is a special sense of satisfaction, a pride in surveying such a work, a work which is rounded, full, exact, complete in its parts, which the superficial person who leaves his or her work in a slovenly, slipshod, half-finished condition, can never know. It is this conscientious completeness which turns any work into art.

The smallest task, well done, becomes a miracle of achievement."

Can you see how those who do only what they are paid for cheat themselves? After all, to get the most out of life, you've got to get the best out of yourself. It is very easy to elevate ourselves. All we have to do is make a decision and commitment to do our best. To guide us on this path, Confucius (BCE 551-479) adds this advice, "When you see good qualities in a person, think of how to rise to that level. When you see bad qualities in a person, reflect inwards and examine your weak points."

MONITOR YOURSELF

How do you know you are making progress if you don't monitor your activities? Part of planning is taking the time to stop and evaluate how we are spending our time. Are we proceeding according to schedule? Have we prioritized our tasks and do we work on what's important first? Are we learning from our mistakes and the mistakes of others? Swimming champion and Olympic gold medal winner (1984), Geoffrey Gaberino passes on this tip, "The real contest is always between what you've done and what you're capable of doing. You measure yourself against yourself and nobody else."

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Paradoxically, we often neglect our two greatest possessions, which are TIME and HEALTH. All the riches in the world mean little if you are feeble and sick. Good health is the source of vitality and makes it possible to lead a fulfilling life. How can people in poor health cushion themselves from the storms of life? Without good health we become like rag dolls cast about in a hurricane.

Eat balanced meals and in moderation. Exercise regularly. And sleep 6-10 hours daily. As long as you awaken refreshed, you are getting enough sleep. Don't neglect your sleep as your body needs it for rejuvenation. As Jim Rohn says, "Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live." Because of the mind-body connection, our mental health is equally vital. To care for it, feed your mind positive thoughts and bathe it in cheerfulness while maintaining a pleasant disposition. Remember, too, as the Irish proverb says, "No time for your health today, will result in no health for your time tomorrow."

ACTION

Life is about movement. We either march forward, backward, or in place. The secret of getting ahead is getting started. Yet, the most difficult part of any task is getting started. You may not feel like doing what needs to be done, but if you go ahead and do it anyway, resistance will fade and later be replaced by enthusiasm.

Occasionally you may feel stuck and unable to move. If so, don't accept inertia or allow it to overcome you. Rather, stimulate yourself to take action by asking a series of questions. Here are some examples: What do I want, to be powerful or powerless? Will doing what needs to be done make me powerful? Will avoiding what needs to be done make me weak? What do I CHOOSE to be, powerful or weak?

Also, you can ask yourself, "If I could eliminate my lethargy, what project would I start and what would be the first steps I would take?" After getting your answer, ignore your feelings of sluggishness and carry out the steps. Doing what needs to be done creates the energy to do it! First act, then energy, motivation and enthusiasm will follow.

Do More of What Works and Less of What Doesn’t

"Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me. Every time I bang my head against the wall, it hurts."

"Well, stop banging your head against the wall!"

Why do some people make life unnecessarily complex? It doesn't require a PhD to get the most enjoyment from life; all that's needed is a little common sense. If it hurts when you bang your head against the wall, stop banging it! If what you're doing causes physical or mental pain, stop doing it.

We come equipped with a built-in sensor called pain. Whenever we're experiencing it, it's telling us we're doing something wrong. Yet, rather than heed the warning, we often continue doing what's wrong and then complain about the pain. Does that make any sense? Of course not. What does make sense, however, is to do more of what works and less of what doesn't. Simple, isn't it? It's just a matter of doing what makes us feel proud and avoiding what makes us feel ashamed.

If it's so simple, why do so many of us end up regretting what we do and neglect to do? Here's a quick review of a handful of reasons why we keep banging our heads against the wall, despite the pain.

1. HABITS. Habits are automatic responses. We repeat them without thinking. Good habits are powerful friends. Bad habits can lead to ruination. So, resolve today to start replacing bad habits with good ones.
2. EMOTIONS (feelings). Emotions are like habits; they can act as an ally or an enemy. Emotions are what motivate us to act. And our actions will either lead to pleasant results or nasty consequences. So, it's important to become AWARE of our feelings and where they will lead us. In other words, we need to stop and think before we act.
3. BELIEFS. We are governed by our beliefs. If you believe you cannot do something, you cannot. If you believe you can, you can. Beliefs are in our subconscious. Most of them were implanted during our childhood and youth. You may consciously want to succeed, for example, but if you believe you are undeserving of success, your subconscious will see to it that you get what you deserve (failure).
4. FEAR. Many allow themselves to become trapped by fear. It may be fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of giving up pleasure for hard work, or other fears. The antidote to fear is to do the very thing we fear by living courageously. We need to constantly step out of our comfort zone. Fear is a wonderful emotion, for it is the price we pay to experience exhilaration and joy, which are the rewards for doing what we fear.
5. VICTIMHOOD. This is a pernicious state in which some people delude themselves into believing they are powerless to change. To comfort themselves, they blame life or others for their problems. The way out is to accept personal responsibility. The pain they're in is a signal that THEY are doing something wrong; they need to stop looking for excuses and start looking for solutions.

Forgiveness

Learn forgiveness. If you are the person who has been wronged, always remember that you have the power to forgive. No one else can give this power to you. Amazingly, by releasing resentment or negative feelings, you are the one who benefits most of all.

How Time Management Can Ruin Lives

His Story

Tick-tock, tick tock…  It’s the pulse that endlessly beats through his mind.  He attempts to ignore it.  He jogs, reads, writes, drinks, chats, anything to distract its drumming.  But it persists.  The pulse follows him.  It calls to him.  Wherever, whenever… it’s always present. 

There is no idle time.  Tasks are due now.  Tasks are due soon.  Every moment is meticulously accounted for.  At work, at lunch, while socializing, even in bed with his wife… his mind wanders.  What time is it?  Where is the minute hand now?  He has to look.

Tick-tock, tick-tock… the rhythm consumes him.  It’s inside of him.  And he knows it.  “It’s a part of who I am,” he tells his wife when she gets irritated with his rigidness.

He sets the alarm to 5:00AM seven days a week, but he doesn’t need it.  Even on Sundays his eyes robotically pop open around 4:50AM.  It’s the internal pulse that arouses him.   His body simply knows it’s time.  Time for productivity.  Time for action.  It’s always time for something.

The clock radio reads 4:00… now 4:01AM.  No, not yet!  It’s still too early.  One more hour of sleep… one more hour of peace.

As he drives to work, a countdown plays out in his mind.  33 minutes before he arrives at the office.  2 hours and 48 minutes before the weekly marketing conference call.  5 days, 4 hours and 15 minutes before his bi-annual review.  1 month, 2 weeks, 3 days, 12 hours and 30 minutes before his spring vacation.

And as his overloaded mind begins to spin, he thinks about what life would be like if he could just let go of it all… if the internal pulse died and allowed him to simply be in the moment, and live for the sake of existing.  “It would be blissful,” he says to himself.  “Sheer freedom!” 

He pulls into the parking lot at exactly 7:00AM, enters his office, and opens his desktop calendar.  After staring at it blankly for almost a full minute, he closes his eyes and pushes the palms of his hands against his forehead.  Overwhelmed, anxious, trapped… but conscious of what must be done.

He slowly lowers his quivering hands, opens his eyes, and begins to draft his daily to-do list.

Her Story

She doesn’t manage her time.  In fact, she rarely knows what time it is.  In her mind, there are no deadlines.  She understands the concept of time management, and that others are bound by schedules, but she refuses to participate.  “Stop bothering me,” she says.  “My time is mine.”

She doesn’t own an alarm clock, or a calendar, or even a cell phone.  If you question her ways, she’ll snicker and tell you, “You’re just another member of the corporate cattle herd… wasting your time to meet someone else’s agenda.”

She’s totally free to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.  A unique, free spirit in charge of her own destiny… completely immune to the forces that attempt to confine her.

“Don’t lecture me on time management,” she exclaims.  “Instead, why don’t you ponder the last time you actually enjoyed yourself.  I bet, in your quest to satisfy needless commitments and fill a 9 to 5 quota, you enjoy yourself a lot less than I enjoy myself.  If you ask me, you’re the one wasting time!”

Naturally, absolute freedom from the bounds of time has its inherent limitations.  Human beings cannot achieve goals without dedicating time to them.  Likewise, it’s impossible to coordinate productive social interactions without planning a time and space to do so.  Thus, she failed out of college, loses jobs faster than she finds them, and can’t maintain a healthy intimate relationship.  Even her closest friends have written her off as a failure.  And, to her parent’s dismay, she currently lives in their basement, rent free, at the ripe age of 29.

Time Management is Like Gravity

Time management is like gravity.  Too much of it, and we’re stuck in place.  Not enough of it, and we’re lost in space.  We need it to live, but in moderation.

“I Will Do One Thing Today” To-Do List

This morning I informed my colleagues that I had only one thing on my to-do list.  Two of them chuckled, a few of them rolled their eyes, but every one of them assumed I would spend most of my day slacking off.  They changed their minds, however, when our boss sent out a mass email this afternoon praising me for resolving a principal issue that my colleagues had been sidestepping all week long.
In my boss’s eyes, the one thing on my to-do list was more important than the fifty other things my colleagues had accomplished during the same timeframe.

A Commitment to One Thing a Day

Some people spend 90% of their time organizing their time.  Some tackle to-do lists peppered with insignificance that stretch a mile long.  And still, there are others who refuse to do anything at all.
As for me, I am committed to doing one thing a day, and that has made all the difference.

The One Thing To-Do List

What one thing will you do today?
Get out a blank sheet of paper and a pen.  Write “I will do one thing today!” in big letters across the page.  Then list your one thing at the bottom.  It should look something like this:
Make your own “I Will Do One Thing Today” to-do list every morning and get it done before you get sidetracked with unimportant stuff.

What is the Value of an Hour?

It was almost midnight on an idle Tuesday and the hospital hallways were unusually calm.  I had just finished reading an old issue of Sports Illustrated from cover to cover.  “Waiting sucks,” I thought to myself.  “Why didn’t I bring a book?”

As I sat quietly with my eyes closed, I could vaguely hear the soft mumbles of a verbal plea going on in the hospital room beside me.  “You’ve kept him waiting long enough!  My grandson is here!  Oh please, let him in.”  More mumbling… “Please, please… nurse, bring him to me.”

A moment later the nurse stormed out of the room and looked startled to see me waiting in the hall.  “Oh, you’re here!” he yelped.  “I’m sorry.  I’m a hospice nurse and I’ve only been watching over your grandmother for the last 24 hours.  She insisted that you were coming to visit her last night too, so she had me scouring the hospital halls looking for you to no avail.  When she told me you were coming again this evening, I assumed her dementia was getting the best of her.”

“Well, I…”

He interrupted me.  “But I’m really glad you’re here.  I think she’s been holding on just so she could say goodbye to you.  It’s actually miraculous that she’s still able to speak, because her body is rapidly shutting down on her.  The doctor gave her 24 hours to live about 24 hours ago.”

“Jeez, that’s…”

He interrupted again.  “Sir, once more, I’m truly sorry.  I had no idea you were out here waiting.  Please follow me.”

I stood up and the nurse guided me into the room.  “You’re grandson is here,” he announced from the doorway.  The old woman’s eye’s lit up.  “Oh grace…  Oh joy!”  She looked right at me and smiled with all the might she had left in her weak body.  “I knew you’d come.”

I sat down at her bedside and placed my hand over hers, interlocking our fingers and squeezing ever so slightly in an attempt to show affection.  She squeezed back and tried to speak again, but she was too exhausted.  Instead, she stared directly into my eyes and held her smile for several minutes as we continued to hold hands.  Finally, she closed her eyes and rested.

For nearly an hour I didn’t move.  I sat there in silence as she maintained a soft grip on my hand.  Then slowly, her grip loosened and her breathing slowed.  For a moment I thought she was falling into a deeper sleep, but then her breathing stopped altogether.

I let go of her lifeless hand and used the emergency call button to summon the nurse.  The nurse hustled in, covered the body with a white sheet, recorded a few notes on his clipboard, and then began to offer his condolences…

“I’m really sorry for your loss,” he said.  “Have you made any funeral arrangements?”
“I don’t even know her name,” I replied.
“What do you mean?” he asked.  “She’s your grandmother.”

“No, she’s not,” I assured him.  “Prior to stepping foot in this room, I had never met her before in my life.  I’m here at the hospital waiting for my roommate who needs a few stitches on his chin.”

He looked confused.  “I don’t understand.  If you don’t know her, then why didn’t you say so?  And why did you sit beside her for the last hour?”

I smiled.  “Well, I knew immediately that she wasn’t my grandmother.  But when you informed me of her life expectancy, I also knew that her real grandson wasn’t going to make it in time.  So curiosity got the best of me and I followed you into the room.  Then when she saw me and smiled, I realized her vision was so bad that she actually thought I was her grandson.  And knowing how desperate she was to see him, I decided to play the part and spend the hour with her.”

We Determine the Value of Every Hour

Our lives are measured by the value we provide to others.  This value arises from the things we spend our time doing.  And since time is quantified in hours, the value of our lives is equivalent to the sum of every hour we spend.

Opportunities to provide value are everywhere.  Some of them are anticipated, while others blindside us at midnight on an idle Tuesday.  Whether or not we choose acknowledge these opportunities is up to us.

How have you spent the last hour of your life?

A Miracle Cure for Stress

Do you feel like life is accelerating?  Maybe you look back at the last five years and wonder where time went.  It may even feel as if all that’s left is stress – without moments of joy and peace.

I must admit, I also feel like this sometimes.  But when I do, I reach for the miracle cure.  This miracle cure doesn't come in a bottle.  We can’t buy it.

We already have the cure for stress within us.

I’m talking about the miracle of ‘Now’.  It’s quite amazing.  When we enter the ‘Now’ and become present - even just for a moment - stress dissolves.

How can we become present?

Awareness is the key to becoming present.  We often confuse awareness with concentration, but these two mind-states are very different.  Concentration is like a narrow beam of light shining on a task.

Awareness is the soft, full light of attention.

The word ‘attend’ implies that there is tenderness at work… that we are seeing with our heart.  Attention means paying tender regard to the beasts and birds, neighbors, coffee cups and pencil sharpeners.  When we pay tender regard to the dishes, even dish-washing becomes a joy.

Toni Packer, a contemporary meditation master says:

Attention comes from nowhere. It has no cause. It belongs to no-one. When it functions effortlessly, there is no duality.

What she’s saying is that when we’re attending to the present moment, we lose the sharp distinction between the self locked in this skin-bag, and the world outside.

When we attend in this way, we feel the world open. And we make friends with our body.

Suddenly we become fully aware of the tenseness in our shoulders, the little bubble of hope in our mind, or the haze of sadness in our heart.  And with this awareness we find that people are friendlier and cats purr louder.

Paying tender regard is simple, but not easy.

We need to stay steady in the face of our changing moods and the stimuli bombarding our senses.

What’s the connection with stress?
When we are stressed, our mind is split.  One part is firmly focused on whatever is pressing in upon us, while the other part is giving minimal attention to whatever tasks need to be done quickly in the meantime.
Let me give you an example.  Imagine that you are late for work and you are rushing around your home in preparation to leave.  If a loved one starts telling you something important about what they are going to do today, how much of your attention is going to be focused on what they are telling you?  Not much, I would think.
When we become present, we stop being preoccupied.  In the space that opens for a moment, we can breathe deeply and listen deeply.  For a moment, stress slips off our shoulders.  And we can learn to have more and more moments of peacefulness in our life.

Here’s how to take the miracle medicine:

There is a very simple way to become present.  And the great thing is that the more you practice it, the easier it becomes.  You can try it right now.
Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth.  Listen to the sounds around you and feel the ground under your feet.  As soon as you are present, gently touch your thumb and forefinger together on each hand.
This light touch is the trigger that can help you access the present moment, and escape stress.
Whenever you feel stressed, stop for a moment, take one deep breath, and touch your thumbs and forefingers together.

48 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

These questions have no right or wrong answers.

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
22. Why are you, you?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
24. What are you most grateful for?
25.    Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
26. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
27. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
28. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?
29. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?
30. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
31. If not now, then when?
32. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
33. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
34. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
35. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
36. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
37. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
38. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
39. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
40. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
41. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
42. When is the time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
43. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
44. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
45. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
46. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
47. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?
48. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.

And check out these books for more thought-provoking questions:

• The Book of Questions
• If… (Questions For The Game of Life)
• The Complete Book of Questions: 1001 Conversation Starters for Any Occasion